Hi, I'm dr. Kevin Skinner. Thank you for asking your question here. I'm pairing guidance. Your question have an eight-year-old son that is has difficulty sitting still difficult to calm over the past six months increased agitation and aggression. I'm not sure if the divorce has an impact on his behavior since it's been there for three years. Now. I need to find a way to decrease aggression and anger before it gets too out of control, you know a couple things what we know is that there can
 can be an influence on divorce after the fact that maybe initially didn't show up. But we also know that there may be other things and I don't want to say it's because of the divorce but something happened six months ago where you've seen an increase in agitation and aggression now not uncommon for an eight-year-old to be, you know, anxious and moving around that's not uncommon difficult to calm. I think that that's an interesting question and that is what is happening.
 Happening and what has happened to increase maybe the stress in your child's life is at school lack of connection with friends again. I would want to go back six months and see if there is something that has happened. Maybe it was an argument with a friend or being bullied on a playground or maybe that's something that happened at the other parents home all of these things. I don't know or maybe even at your home something has changed and that there's more aggression at home. I would want to in a
 A calmer time with your son maybe sit down and have a conversation maybe with a ball back and forth or you're playing with a ball just talking about something has changed over the past few months. I wonder I wonder what what it is you seem a little bit more upset, or maybe you're mad at me. Are you mad at me?
Are you mad at anybody?
Thinking about this concept of helping your child feel safe notice. These are questions. I don't know the answer which is questions, but something happened a few months ago. And as a parent the hope is that you could find out so your child could talk about it rather than just hold it inside sometimes anger and aggression is a way that they get attention. So you want to make sure that you give attention at calm times in positive ways.
 Safety comes when we feel connected to others safety comes when we feel safe with ourselves. So they're your child's on the Move On The Move On The Go now some people say well does he have ADHD? Well, I don't know if he has ADHD all I know is that right now? He's anxious. He's Minds moving and I wonder if you can help him maybe with a guided meditation where you're just listening to things and relaxing with him teaching him how to slow down could be a good idea and would be a good idea the other thing.
 As difficult as it may be you might call up is other parent and and talk about some things that you're observing or sent to send a message and say I'm observing this are you experiencing something similar now, you may not feel comfortable with that. I don't know the nature of the divorce, but it would be helpful to get some feedback and maybe tag team at if and best case scenario. That's possible. Now. The other thing is if it continues you might want to consider getting play therapy or sand tray therapy where your child can act out.
 Out some of their emotions or his emotions by play. We know the play therapy is better than talk therapy, which is why even as a parent you might get a ball while you're talking or you might go on a walk or on a bike ride to talk about some of these emotions don't be afraid to teach your child or your son what you want the behavior that you want him to engage in and teach him in those difficult moments how to slow down the mind how to relax the Mind. Anyway, these are some things that I would consider as you go.
 Through this process don't be afraid to have these conversations. But if you need more support, I would seek professional help from a therapist who does play therapy because that is been found to be more effective with children. Not necessarily one-on-one talk therapy. All right. Thank you for your question. And I wish you and your son the best.

Hi, I'm dr. Kevin Skinner. Thank you for asking your question here. I'm pairing guidance. Your question have an eight-year-old son that is has difficulty sitting still difficult to calm over the past six months increased agitation and aggression. I'm not sure if the divorce has an impact on his behavior since it's been there for three years. Now. I need to find a way to decrease aggression and anger before it gets too out of control, you know a couple things what we know is that there can

 can be an influence on divorce after the fact that maybe initially didn't show up. But we also know that there may be other things and I don't want to say it's because of the divorce but something happened six months ago where you've seen an increase in agitation and aggression now not uncommon for an eight-year-old to be, you know, anxious and moving around that's not uncommon difficult to calm. I think that that's an interesting question and that is what is happening.

 Happening and what has happened to increase maybe the stress in your child's life is at school lack of connection with friends again. I would want to go back six months and see if there is something that has happened. Maybe it was an argument with a friend or being bullied on a playground or maybe that's something that happened at the other parents home all of these things. I don't know or maybe even at your home something has changed and that there's more aggression at home. I would want to in a

 A calmer time with your son maybe sit down and have a conversation maybe with a ball back and forth or you're playing with a ball just talking about something has changed over the past few months. I wonder I wonder what what it is you seem a little bit more upset, or maybe you're mad at me. Are you mad at me?

Thinking about this concept of helping your child feel safe notice. These are questions. I don't know the answer which is questions, but something happened a few months ago. And as a parent the hope is that you could find out so your child could talk about it rather than just hold it inside sometimes anger and aggression is a way that they get attention. So you want to make sure that you give attention at calm times in positive ways.

 Safety comes when we feel connected to others safety comes when we feel safe with ourselves. So they're your child's on the Move On The Move On The Go now some people say well does he have ADHD? Well, I don't know if he has ADHD all I know is that right now? He's anxious. He's Minds moving and I wonder if you can help him maybe with a guided meditation where you're just listening to things and relaxing with him teaching him how to slow down could be a good idea and would be a good idea the other thing.

 As difficult as it may be you might call up is other parent and and talk about some things that you're observing or sent to send a message and say I'm observing this are you experiencing something similar now, you may not feel comfortable with that. I don't know the nature of the divorce, but it would be helpful to get some feedback and maybe tag team at if and best case scenario. That's possible. Now. The other thing is if it continues you might want to consider getting play therapy or sand tray therapy where your child can act out.

 Out some of their emotions or his emotions by play. We know the play therapy is better than talk therapy, which is why even as a parent you might get a ball while you're talking or you might go on a walk or on a bike ride to talk about some of these emotions don't be afraid to teach your child or your son what you want the behavior that you want him to engage in and teach him in those difficult moments how to slow down the mind how to relax the Mind. Anyway, these are some things that I would consider as you go.

 Through this process don't be afraid to have these conversations. But if you need more support, I would seek professional help from a therapist who does play therapy because that is been found to be more effective with children. Not necessarily one-on-one talk therapy. All right. Thank you for your question. And I wish you and your son the best.

I have an eight year...

I have an eight year old son that has difficulty sitting still, difficult to calm, and over the past 6 months increased agitation and aggres

Answer by Dr. Skinner | I have an eight year old son that has difficulty sitting still, difficult to calm, and over the past 6 months increased agitation and aggres